Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
