I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
