i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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