Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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