ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
