While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize