have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
