kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
