Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
