Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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