the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
