I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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