did you get engaged???
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
