so let's talk penis.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i came on her dog
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My penis needs a shock collar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
