I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
