It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
