I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
