Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
