Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
