i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize