Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
