yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
