People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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