I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
