is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
