she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
