i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
