This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
