I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
