i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
