I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
