This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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