Dual....:-)
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize