life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize