if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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