last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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