I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
