what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
