Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize