: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
