Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Buhtt sex?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
