Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
