I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
