do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
