idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize