i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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