Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I fill condoms, not promises.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
