You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I will pee on everything he values.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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