He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The uberlube is also flammable
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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