just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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