Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize