you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
