I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
