ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
