My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
