ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
