don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
