She's JV to your varsity
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
