I think my fart just growled at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
