Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
