Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
