Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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